I attended a family reunion a few days ago and while it was nice to see and visit with people I don’t see very often, there was one conversation I had that left me angry and sad simultaneously. After the reunion and on the way back, there was a very near miss. One could almost say that it was a miracle that there wasn’t a crash involving the loss of lives… mine included. I don’t believe in miracles so I’ll put me being here and able to type this down to sheer, dumb luck. The combination of the upsetting conversation and the near miss caused me to reevaluate some things. The first thing I’ve done is made a very conscious decision to beware of placing anyone on a pedestal. I hadn’t even realized I’d been doing this for more than 30 years but I certainly realized it during the extremely
I’ve been thinking a lot about my aunt lately. The one I mentioned here. The one I watched die. She was a lifesaver for me during a period of my life in which I was getting into a lot of trouble. She took me to her farm and things rapidly got better for me. I wish I could talk with her now. I could use her advice right now. Out of all the people in my family… parents, sibling, uncles, aunts, grandparents… only she and my grandfather “got” me. Only they understood me. I could talk to them. I could tell them about things going on in my life without worry of getting a condescending lecture, judgmental looks, or simply walking out on me. When someone like that is no longer around when they’ve helped so much with their wisdom it truly leaves a void.
Then There Was Silence
I, along with
Every single time I’ve hesitated to act on an instinct or strong feeling to either do something or avoid doing something it turned out to be a disaster. All throughout my life it’s been that way. When I was younger, much of the hesitating to act stemmed directly from a misguided desire to make my parents proud of me. I’ve always wondered if that trait, to want to gain the approval of parents, is hardwired into us. If so, it’s clearly a major blunder of evolution. Especially when the parents and offspring couldn’t possibly be any different. Adding to that the fact that I’ve always been the “black sheep” of the family, the “ne’er-do-right”, and it’s little wonder that even when I did try to do something I thought would make the family proud it still turned out to be a complete disaster… mostly for me. Because I was acting
I just wrote about the American Dream being a lie and listed a number of things that I see as proof of this. But now I’ve just really had enough of the bullsh*t. I’m in the process of gathering only the belongings I need (instead of just want) and prepping my bike to just take off. Yep, I’m talking about just taking off and going wherever the hell I want to. When I get there I’ll know. When I get tired of that place I’ll leave. No more contracts for me. No more chasing after things. I’m all about freedom and experiences now. I’ve tried the whole American Dream thing and I’ve found that not only is it a huge lie, but it’s shallow… empty. It’s left me angry (as you can probably tell by some of the rants I’ve posted). I’m tired of being angry. It’s toxic. I already
Sometimes in life one reaches a point where it becomes absolutely necessary to move away and start all over again. Some people are lucky enough that they never reach this point, while others are not so fortunate. I find myself at that point right now, this very instant while I type this. I’ve known it was coming for some time and have even been advised by people I trust to take the leap and start afresh in recent years, but I always felt I could tough it out and that things would get better somehow. Well, things haven’t gotten better and today it couldn’t have been made any clearer to me that I must move on. The problem is that I don’t know how.
I know where I want to go, so that is at least one step I suppose. Getting there and finding a way to support myself and finding
My youngest son is 14. Among his favorite ways to pass his free time is archery, walking/hiking, and photography. He doesn’t have a fancy, expensive camera. He uses his phone’s camera. He takes amazing photographs. Many of them are taken during his hikes. Mountains streams, hiking trails, the county road up from our house… anywhere or anything that captures his attention he photographs.
Here are a few of his photographs. In their full size they are breathtaking (at least I think they are), so I’m not sure how being transferred to the server you’re currently reading this blog post on will affect their quality. I hope he continues this hobby. I really enjoy his photography!
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It’s been hotter than hell lately and with the high humidity it’s almost unbearable. Riding with all the gear is really tough this time of year in Texas, Oklahoma, and Arizona (and other places as well). It’s not too bad at highway speeds because there’s plenty of wind, but in town and especially when stopped in traffic or at a stop light it is downright brutal. Staying hydrated is a primary concern. Still, even with the heat, I won’t ride without the gear. I know what a difference it makes. Trading being a little bit cooler for the risk of having more skin ripped off by that meat-grinding asphalt and/or not having head protection just isn’t worth the gamble for me.
Completely changing topic, last night I was sitting in my chair watching some television show when I started feeling dizzy. I put my head back against the headrest and
We all only get one shot at this life. It amazes me how people, myself included, seem to be completely oblivious to this fact and live their lives as if on autopilot. One day is a carbon copy of the day before and the next days is a copy of today. In the 80s there was a song by a band called Loverboy. The song was called Living For The Weekend. That’s pretty much how everyone I know lives their life. We drudge through the work week and look forward to the weekend. That’s our life. I have known a rare few who had a completely different take on life and lived each moment to the fullest. They always seemed full of energy and an amazing zeal for life. Those people had one thing in common. They had all been through terrible tragedies that changed them forever and woke them