Mental Health

tag (13 Posts)

Sudden Realization And Self Improvement

Choosing better

Within many meditative traditions “insights” are common, perhaps even the goal in some cases. The most well-known meditative traditions in the West are the myriad of Buddhist traditions and among them the top two most well-known, I would bet, are Zen and what is termed “Tibetan Buddhism”. The Buddhist traditions are not, however, the only game in town. Meditation has become so mainstream that it is being taught and practiced everywhere from the corporate world to the prison world. With good reason I might add because it works if done correctly and regularly. But it has also become so commercialized that words and phrases such as “mindfulness”, “being present”, “living in the moment” and so on have become mere caricatures of the wisdom they once pointed to. Whenever I see or read and advertisement using those words or phrases, or see an article with them in the title I catch

Desperate Measures

New Mexico

“Desperate times call for desperate measures” or “drastic times call for drastic” measures… I prefer a slight rearrangement of words in these idioms. Desperate times call for drastic measures. For me that is more precise. There comes a time, I would imagine, in everyone’s life when drastic measures are required. The more desperate the situation, the more drastic the measure(s) may need to be to remedy the situation. I cannot speak for everyone, I can only relate my own situation and so this is something of a disclaimer. Everyone knows I’m not a doctor or a shrink, I’m just someone who has dealt with decades of poorly controlled bipolar disorder, depression, rage and anxiety. So, I have a good grasp of what has not worked for me. I’m not claiming that what hasn’t worked for me is universally ineffective, so any litigation-happy pharmaceutical companies can go fuck themselves.
What I’ve noticed

People Are Dying! Please Read.

Help Someone

Fair warning: If profanity offends your sensitivities then be forewarned that this is a profanity-laden post. However, it’s a very important post… in fact, I would say that it is the most important post I’ve done on this site. So if you are one of those who are offended by profanity, please set that aside for just long enough to read this post. My emotions were very raw as I wrote it and therefore it is, to say the least, unbridled, unapologetic, and some may even call it confrontational. But when people are losing their lives because others aren’t listening to them on a scale I’ve never seen before, it’s time to put away the niceties and just call it as it is. I’m particularly aiming this post at you, Wise County, Texas and any other place that is so caught up in their radical religious beliefs that meaningful discussion

Loneliness and Considering Shutting Down This Blog

Lonesome

I’m considering shutting down this blog. There’s so much (and nothing) going on in my life at present. I’m trying to find focus but it seems an impossible task at the moment. By far the most read post on this blog is the Kawasaki Vulcan S review. It gets nearly all the hits every single day. While that’s fine I suppose I wish that readers would take a look at the other content here. Some do, but far and away the most attention is payed to that single post. In a way that is very discouraging because what is the point of maintaining a blog if only a single post out of over a hundred is being read? I realize I tend to go all over the place with my topics, that I don’t have a niche or a single interesting subject matter… I simply write about what happens to

Doctors Who Don’t Believe In Mental Illness Are Dangerous

Jesus Freak Doctors

Disastrous Doctor Visit
I went to see my doctor today. My PCP. I learned he doesn’t believe in psychiatry, mental illness, or anything of the sort. He said my problem was not physical, emotional, or mental. He said it is a “spiritual problem”. That everything I have been suffering for decades is simply because I haven’t chosen Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Yep. You read that right. When I pointed out that religious beliefs have nothing to do with mental illness and that Christians suffer mental illness on the same level per capita as non-Christians he replied that those who profess to be Christians but “have problems” such as these are merely “church-goers”, not real Christians. Real Christians, according to him, do not experience such problems because Jesus took upon himself all the problems in the world and overcame them on the cross. Obviously, this man has no business

The Sorry State Of Mental Health Hospitals In America

mental hospital

It’s truly astounding just how quickly everything can become truly and utterly fucked up. If anyone is still reading this blog, they’ll have noticed that this is my first post in a very long time. At least it seems like a long time. Like ages. A lot has happened between the last post and this one and I’m trying to think of one part of it all that was good. I’m still alive so that’s good… I suppose. Anyway, I’ve been in what is called “crisis”. I’ve been doing everything I can to stay out of the fucking hospital where they put people that they simply don’t know what to do with. I’ve known people that have gone into those hospitals and I can say from personal observation and stories from those that have been in there that (a.) they don’t help anyone, much less “cure” them and (b.) people

The Mistake of Placing Anyone On A Pedestal

down from the pedastal

I attended a family reunion a few days ago and while it was nice to see and visit with people I don’t see very often, there was one conversation I had that left me angry and sad simultaneously. After the reunion and on the way back, there was a very near miss. One could almost say that it was a miracle that there wasn’t a crash involving the loss of lives… mine included. I don’t believe in miracles so I’ll put me being here and able to type this down to sheer, dumb luck. The combination of the upsetting conversation and the near miss caused me to reevaluate some things. The first thing I’ve done is made a very conscious decision to beware of placing anyone on a pedestal. I hadn’t even realized I’d been doing this for more than 30 years but I certainly realized it during the extremely

Bad Dreams, Religious Nonsense, and Loneliness

too many thoughts racing

Man, I’m really struggling here… I’ve got a million things on my mind and want to write about them all but every time I begin to type today I see what I’ve written and realize that it probably won’t make any sense at all to readers so I delete and start over. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve deleted and restarted on this post today. It’s extremely difficult to try to convey anything at all in a coherent manner when there are so many disparate topics running through my mind seemingly simultaneously. Religion, sleep, dreams, goals, loneliness: all of these things are on my mind today and I want to write about them all but I don’t want to bore you to tears or end up typing out a saga instead of a blog post. I’ll start with two at the same time since they are related anyway…
Sleep

Insomnia… Another Fun Effect of Bipolar Disorder (but things could be worse)

never ask

Insomnia sucks. Last night I managed to get five hours of sleep and I woke feeling better than I have in weeks. That’s because for the last few weeks I’ve been experiencing insomnia to such a degree that I’m lucky if I get two or three hours of sleep. So, a full five hours felt pretty good. I go in cycles with insomnia. I know it has to do with the whole bipolar BS. The insomnia always comes when the depression is at its worst and it comes again when what I call the energy phase is peaking and lasts right through the rage phase. No amount of breath-counting or meditation works. The only thing that helps is being alone. If there are other people around I can’t sleep at all. What’s worse is that the lack of sleep makes everything seem worse and makes me feel physically bad as

I Really Need To Get Out Of Texas For Good!

Texas sucks

I’m 51 years old and I’ve been noticing a dramatic change in my thinking of late. I have become obsessed with how I want to spend the rest of my life, I find regret haunting me relentlessly, and my priorities have definitely changed. I don’t think it’s a midlife crisis for two reasons… the first being it’s a little late for that and the second being that I don’t find myself wanting to buy a fancy new car or wishing for a younger woman. I simply want to make some changes in my life that will make me a happier and better person. Finding a way back to New Mexico and staying there is my priority. As for the regret that has been relentlessly haunting me, well, there’s nothing to be done about that. On the minuscule and incredibly remote chance that the person involved in that particular regret ever