tag (47 Posts)


Question Mark

I recently wrote that I had resumed my Buddhist practice and that as a result I was experiencing more peace. Well, since I published that post the peace I mentioned has flown out the window. I shouldn’t be surprised and really I’m not all that surprised. I’ve lived with bipolar disorder long enough to know that it doesn’t just go away regardless of what you do or what pill a shrink puts you on. It’s going to cause problems because that’s just the nature of the beast. The last few days have been full of inner turmoil to put it mildly. That’s very frustrating to say the least. I sure enjoyed the peace while it lasted though. Even now, as I type this, I’m struggling to create coherent sentences… not to mention an overall coherent post regarding what I really want to say.
My mind flits from obsession to obsession over

I Should Be A Hermit Because I Don’t Understand The Rules

The Hermit

Why do psychiatrists charge so much? It’s not a rhetorical question. I’d really like to know. I could understand it better if they actually did or told you something that was new or life-changing, but (in my experience) they don’t. They only tell you what you already know. Perhaps now and then it’s something you’d never really thought about because it’s simply part of your “normal” but not everyone else’s. But even that is rare. They may phrase things differently to make you see something in a different way but it’s certainly not life-changing. No, they do what every other doctor does and simply throw drugs at you. Drugs that have horrendous side effects. Psychiatrists differ from psychologists in that they are doctors who can and do prescribe drugs but have also gone to school longer to study psychiatry. They tend to look at things a bit differently than psychologists.

Defeating GPS Tracking and Signal Triangulation


I was thinking about how smartphones can be some of the most sophisticated surveillance devices ever invented. What with built-in GPS, wireless signals that can easily pick out your location via triangulation, mobile “towers”, and so on, it’s no wonder that privacy is now something one has to work at to achieve now. Privacy is no longer something we can just take for granted any longer. Smartphones also come with built-in browsers that corporations use to track you across the Internet so they can target you with ads specific to your interests. I’ve heard so many people remark how they mentioned something in an email and suddenly they start seeing ads about that very thing. I’ve noticed this too. Then there’s the U.S. government’s mass surveillance program(s) that scoop up vast amounts of data about you every single day. Every phone call, every email, every text… anything you do with

Toxic People

Toxic People

I saw a tweet on Twitter today that really resonated with me. It was about removing toxic people from your life in order to allow yourself to be happier and healthier. A person doesn’t have to be violent, abusive, or anything extreme to qualify as toxic. Someone who simply doesn’t appreciate you regardless of how much you reach out would also qualify as toxic. If you’ve ever heard the excuse, “Sorry, I just haven’t had time…” over and over again then that’s a pretty obvious sign that the person making the excuse really means they don’t have time for you. There can be no denying the fact that people make time for those they care about. If you’ve reached out to someone time and again via calls, texts, emails… however you’ve reached out and they consistently fail to even acknowledge you then that is a person you should probably seriously

Online Privacy and Anonymity in an Age of Tracking

illegal spying

Due to the ongoing and completely inexcusable (not to mention illegal) government surveillance and its newer, sneakier, and nastier methods of carrying out said surveillance and attacking computers I have moved back to Linux. I used various distros of Linux and even some of the BSDs for decades until I got a shiny new laptop some time ago with Windows 10 on it and decided that I could ease up a bit on my demands regarding an OS and its security. Well, that’s over now. After using and getting to know Windows 10 I decided it couldn’t be relied upon for any real level of security, much less anonymity when I wanted it. Using a “flavor” (distro) of Linux won’t, in and of itself, protect you from most of the more sophisticated attacks and surveillance methods but it is a vast improvement over Windows. In order to achieve a reasonable

I Am A Survivor

Me in the Moonlight

“You are a survivor.” Those are the exact words one of my shrinks said to me years ago. I think the words hold truer now even more than when he spoke them. I have survived the deepest, darkest places of my psyche. I have survived headlong plunges into utter madness and clawing my way back up again. I survived the night I put a loaded, chambered .45 to my head, pushing it so hard against my head it hurt. I don’t know why I put the gun down but the fact is that I did. I survived plans to hang myself. I have survived motorcycle crashes, one of them serious. So, yes, I think the shrink was right. I am a survivor. But now I am trying to more than simply survive… I am trying to thrive.
Over the last few days something has changed within me. It is impossible to

Sudden Realization And Self Improvement

Choosing better

Within many meditative traditions “insights” are common, perhaps even the goal in some cases. The most well-known meditative traditions in the West are the myriad of Buddhist traditions and among them the top two most well-known, I would bet, are Zen and what is termed “Tibetan Buddhism”. The Buddhist traditions are not, however, the only game in town. Meditation has become so mainstream that it is being taught and practiced everywhere from the corporate world to the prison world. With good reason I might add because it works if done correctly and regularly. But it has also become so commercialized that words and phrases such as “mindfulness”, “being present”, “living in the moment” and so on have become mere caricatures of the wisdom they once pointed to. Whenever I see or read and advertisement using those words or phrases, or see an article with them in the title I catch

People Are Dying! Please Read.

Help Someone

Fair warning: If profanity offends your sensitivities then be forewarned that this is a profanity-laden post. However, it’s a very important post… in fact, I would say that it is the most important post I’ve done on this site. So if you are one of those who are offended by profanity, please set that aside for just long enough to read this post. My emotions were very raw as I wrote it and therefore it is, to say the least, unbridled, unapologetic, and some may even call it confrontational. But when people are losing their lives because others aren’t listening to them on a scale I’ve never seen before, it’s time to put away the niceties and just call it as it is. I’m particularly aiming this post at you, Wise County, Texas and any other place that is so caught up in their radical religious beliefs that meaningful discussion

The Clone Snores

Cookie Cutter Boring

We live in a cookie-cutter society, I think that much is obvious to anyone who looks closely. In case it’s not clear, allow me to elaborate a bit. Take a look around you the next time you’re at work or shopping or even watching TV. 99.9% of the behavior, dress, hair style, and everything else is either exactly the same or so similar that it could pass for exact. There are very, very few variations and all too often those variations, especially if they are actually stark differences, are labelled as misfit, crazy, or some other derogatory term. There’s very little that’s new or different. People in offices are made to dress according to company standards, much like the school uniform codes in Japan. People working outdoor jobs are now required by government to wear OSHA approved clothing. The cookie-cutter mentality is even in schools, from very young all the

The Mistake of Placing Anyone On A Pedestal

down from the pedastal

I attended a family reunion a few days ago and while it was nice to see and visit with people I don’t see very often, there was one conversation I had that left me angry and sad simultaneously. After the reunion and on the way back, there was a very near miss. One could almost say that it was a miracle that there wasn’t a crash involving the loss of lives… mine included. I don’t believe in miracles so I’ll put me being here and able to type this down to sheer, dumb luck. The combination of the upsetting conversation and the near miss caused me to reevaluate some things. The first thing I’ve done is made a very conscious decision to beware of placing anyone on a pedestal. I hadn’t even realized I’d been doing this for more than 30 years but I certainly realized it during the extremely