I recently learned, in the most painful of ways, to be wary of recording devices such as a helmet camera that have been acting buggy. My helmet cam has for some time been turning on with movement, wasting both battery and space on memory. Other times, when I try to turn it on it won’t turn on. Recently I stopped by to visit some people who were very dear to me. I not only loved them but trusted them… something that does not come easily for me. When I arrived I removed all my riding gear, including the helmet with the camera just mentioned. When I set it down on a piece of furniture the camera evidently turned itself on again. I had even checked it to make sure it wasn’t on and I didn’t see the little blinking light that indicates it is recording. But it was. We talked and after a while they offered me a hamburger and the use of their vehicle to go get it so I wouldn’t have to gear up again in the blazing heat and oppressive humidity. I took them up on their offer. The camera recorded all the while I was gone. When I finally left and arrived where I was going I checked the SD card like I always do to see what riding scenery I might want to keep and what I want to discard. That’s when I noticed videos I had not taken. That’s when I learned the truth of how these people really feel about me, and it was painful. The truth may set you free, but it can also break your heart.
I couldn’t stop watching and listening to the videos even though I wanted to. I was too shocked. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It wasn’t just me that they thoroughly trashed, but also my sons. I’ve deleted the videos from the card, but there is no deleting what I heard from my mind or my heart. It cannot be unheard. I learned how an accessory I wear is repulsive to them, though it is very important to me because it represents my heritage. After ridiculing and displaying their disgust at it, one said that, “it isn’t even rational!”. Translated, that means it doesn’t make sense to them and therefore cannot possibly make sense to anyone else. I suppose they view themselves so highly that if something doesn’t meet their approval it is to be reviled by all. Then I heard how, “I don’t tell Buck anything anymore because it just doesn’t register.” But “doesn’t register” in truth simply means that I don’t agree with whatever he tries to tell me. You see, evidently in his mind he couldn’t possibly be wrong so I must be so dense that since I don’t agree with him it means it “doesn’t register”. Then I heard about how all three my sons have some serious defects and character flaws which evidently this man is so far above that he simply cannot fathom how anyone could dare think differently than him. His wife was nodding and agreeing, feeding fuel into his bitter and vile rant against myself and my sons.
I saw him pick up my armored riding jacket, pat it down to see what was in the pockets, remarking about how heavy it is and then toss it to the floor like some piece of garbage. Then I arrived back and they went right back to acting like they cared for me, like they loved me… all smiles and hugs. This has been an extremely painful experience for me, a heart-breaking awakening.
I only post this to warn to be careful with faulty or malfunctioning cameras. Be careful about what you don’t want to learn. It is a very painful revelation indeed to learn what someone you thought loved and respected you really thinks of you. Especially when what they say is so utterly vile that they cannot possibly hold even the slightest bit of respect for you or your children. If they did then they couldn’t have even dreamed of saying such things. The truth may set you free, but it can also break your heart.